Thursday, February 23, 2006

My MTV Mentality Kid

So my daughter doesn't like to go to High School. It is a diffucult gig for me. I drop her off at school but she walks out the back door and how am I to control this? I call, e-mail and set up meetings with the school. But, that is it. All I do...doesn't seem to work. She has a better time skipping school and hanging out with her friends. Do I blame her? Probably not...but the fact is...she needs an education. What does she do when she is 25 years old and doesn't even have a high school diploma? Probably blame me for not "forcing" her to stay in school.

My daughter knows everything in her mind. She is blowing her future for friends, drugs and music...she can't seem to see beyond the here and now. Does she think about her future? Does she know that making minimum wage at 25 years old will not pay her bills? Why does she have to learn the hard way? I am sick in the heart for her. I want more for her. But, the feeling I get is that she simply doesn't care. She just can't wait until she is 18 years old to pierce her body and get tattoos are her only goals. She seems to think that will make her happy. I mean, I don't think that there is anything wrong with living your life the way you want to...but I think responsibility for your actions are a must. But, I am sure she will blame me for her misery. I mean she does it now. She says, "I am unhappy with my home life, I can't be myself..." But, you take yourself with you wherever you go. A change in scenery doesnt' change who you are on the inside. The same problems, the same insecurities and the same attitude will be there when you arrive at your new destination.

I am not sure where I am really going with this except to say that I wish she could see into the future and what her life would/will be like on both sides fo the coin. I wish I could make her happy. I wish she could see how truly beautiful she is and how smart she is. But, she can't. She is stuck in the MTV reality mentality lifestyle, instant gratification and my parents don't know $hit!!

So, I think it will be difficult to keep her in school. I think it will be difficult for her to see past her today. But, I can't and won't stop trying to get her through this hard time. I won't stop loving her in spite of it all!

1 comment:

MagicalSis said...

I found your blog through Self Fulfilling Prophecy. Maybe I was supposed to come here to let you know that I went through the teenage daughter thing just like that,intent and vigilant to keep her in school. It was one of the most painful times in my life. She did graduate. She is 23 yrs old now and we are best friends. She opted to not go to college but I am proud of her and she is going to be fine. i had to let go, she has her own path and I have to let her walk down it.

Much empathy flowing to you, it will be ok, eventually!!!