You think that everything is going great in your life. You are excited about the prospects of the future. You are generally happy about life.
Then the bomb hits...You're told, I am not happy in this relationship. I don't care what you think about anything that concerns me. You have nothing going for you. You are a "f"ing c*^t. I am only here until I taken care of some things.
When did this happen? Why did this happen? Why did loving me become so hard? I thought I had it all. I am crazy in love with him...so here I am sitting in shock and horror that I am going to be left again. I know that I can take care of children and myself. I know that I will survive this because I am a fighter. But, I can't help but wonder what it is about myself that causes people to fall out of love with me. Is it really me? Do I just pick the wrong type of men? Do I stink? I mean what is it?
It really makes me feel like crap that this man doesn't love me enough to work this out. We have only been married for year and a half. So, here I am wondering how I didn't recognize his withdrawal from me, why I didn't see the writing on the wall. Maybe, I was too busy worrying about my children, my work and school. Maybe, I just didn't give him enough. I don't know.
Loving is hard enough but to love someone so hard and so deeply...the rejection I can barely stand. It is like being hit in the head and waking up and not knowing where you are. I really thought he adored me. I really thought this was forever. I have no complaints about him. I have no understanding in this. I feel like I am on the outside looking in. My heart (the one you feel when you are happy or sad) is so hurt that it physically hurts. I just don't know what to believe or think at this point. I hate to have to end this. I don't want to start all over. But, what else is there? I am not going to stop him from leaving. I am not going to fight a one-sided arguement. I am not going to beg. I have been there and it doesn't work.
I had to get this out. I don't dare tell a soul for they will say...what did you do this time? He is such a super guy...you need to go to him and make things right. You need to change yourself for him. I AM SERIOUS...that is what everyone will say because they all love him, too. Well, we've all been duped. The story is OVER.